This blog will be a collection of my random thoughts, quotes from my nights out, texts, personal musings, crazy stuff I see around Hamburg, funny pics, etc. It will function as if your Facebook, Tumbler, Twitter, Tumbler, Instagram, and WhatsApp accounts had an inappropriate relationship with one another. And, this blog was its subsequent love child.
- It will be a longer post one day, when I really delve into my ideas. But, in short, I think patriotism is born from pride in your home country. And, the list of the horrors the US has wrought on the world (and black people in their own country) is long.
- I see the flag and feel absolutely nothing for my home country. I will write more in-depth about it, but that's where my "negative patriotism" comes from. It's an embarrassment and shame, to me, what the US has done, especially in it's recent history.
- I think I have my "rooting interest" for the tournament and it's Belgium. A good young team, a country so small that it's absolutely adorable when you look at it on a map, they have great chocolate, and great beer. What's not to love?
- I also learned last night, that I have zero patriotism for my home country. I couldn't care less, if they won last night. I have, what I'm starting to call "negative patriotism." (trademark pending)
- I've "idiot-proofed" my apartment, after locking myself out last week. (see right)
- Now that I think about it, Iran vs. Nigeria is also currently winning my award for: "Match Involving Countries With The Largest Oil Reserves."
- Second place also goes to Puma for saying, "Fuck it, we'll sell them two different gloves at the same time too."
- Early award for "Best Advertising" goes to Puma for them saying, "Fuck it, we'll just sell them two shoes at one time."
- It's my thing to cheer for teams done in my the awful foreign policy
of the "West." (by "West", I mostly mean the United States) So, naturally I'm
pulling for Iran over Nigeria. It pains me to cheer against Nigeria GK,
Vincent Enyeama. If anyone is here, that also read my World Cup blog in
2010, you know I love him.
- Iran vs Nigeria is currently winning my award for: "Match Involving Two Countries Where Shit Couldn't Be Going Much Worse" #BokoHaram #Isis - Riding the train during a Germany World Cup match and it looks like a scene from "I Am Legend" #AllByMyself
- Ok, we're at Day 5 of the World Cup. Honestly, I'm totally
conflicted about how awful things reportedly are in Brazil (protestors,
evicted residents, etc). Nevertheless, I'm pushing on trying to get into
the tournament.
Last year, there was a big food scandal in Germany, because horse meat found its way into beef products. I never understood the uproar. Meat is so cheap, what can people expect?
Anyway, I saw this sign today. We're at the point where some meat costs less than fucking gum.
I think you're lucky if it comes from anything with 4 legs.
- If you were curious, "Handschuhschneeballwerfer" displaced "Elfenbeinkuste" (Ivory Coast) as my favorite German word.
- (My new favorite German word) Handschuhschneeballwerfer: a coward willing to criticize and abuse from a safe distance (translates directly as "gloved snowball thrower")
- "If this worked out, I could see myself being a diva, wanting special teas and shit." #JamesQuotesJames
- "I read a paragraph. I'll take 90,000 Euros please." #JamesQuotesJames
- "I can be a little Princess sometimes." #JamesQuotesJames
- "You owe me no explanation, for a slow reply to my nonsense." #JQJ
- 'I wear ladies's deodorant. I just feel it jives better with my body." #JQJ
- "Dark circles under your eyes = Globetrotter Swag" #JQJ
- "I will not be running for any bus or train today. It's too hot and I can't risk sweating in public." #JQJ
- "We have officially hit the "2 showers/ day minimum" time of year." #JQJ
- "My beard is somewhere between "Conchita Wurst" and "Homeless guy", but at least it doesn't itch." #JQJ
(unless this crosses midnight, times are PM, and GMT, Eastern Standard Time + 6 hours)
- 7:45: Ok, so I've decided to do this. I know it's crazy. I'm certain
no one will read this but me. But, Eurovision has a special place in my
heart. I have no idea why. I find the contest charming. And, as a bonus,
I can make so many jokes about Europe's checkered history. #GeopoliticalFun
- 7:46: By the way, popcorn's made for the night. I think I made too much. (I'm watching this alone)
- 7:50: In my defense, I'm a big guy and when I cook/make something small, where you measure with your "eye", I always make too much. Foods I always make too much of: Quinoa, all pastas, Bulgur, Popcorn, white and brown rice, lentils, Cous Cous, and Barley Wheat
- 7:59: Ok, just back from the kitchen, I had to double check which grain/legume/nuts I always make too much of and my list was complete. There was one exception. I always eat too much Musli each morning. It's another thing that looks like I never have enough of it.
- 8:00: Tagesschau time. A news staple here in Germany (kinda like the "Nightly News" in America). 15 minutes to the show.
- 8:01: I'm hoping popcorn doesn't have the same shit turkey has in it. Otherwise, I'll be in a coma by 9:30
- 8:03: Ok, there are only reduced levels of tryptophan in corn. I should make it to the end. I should have thought of that, before making enough popcorn for a large movie theater.
- 8:07: According to Tagesschau, the world's still fucked up. Glad I tuned in.
- 8:09: To quote myself from yesterday's post, here is a quick reminder, the countries that I'm ok with winning this thing and reasons for : "I am okay if Iceland wins (they jailed their bankers after the economic crisis, and forgave the debt of regular people),
Greece, Ireland, or Italy win (fucked during the Euro crisis and still being fucked), Austria
(drag queen with a better beard than I can grow),
Romania (circular piano, and musical Prozac-type song), Latvia (for
kitsch), Poland (overt, borderline desperate display of sexuality),
France (because a part of me appreciates their xenophobia and unwillingness to sing in English) and Hungary
(no real reason to hate them).
- 8:15: Eurovision begins!! By the way, this year's show is hosted by
Copenhagen. The country, with the winning song from last year, hosts
the following year's contest. #UselessInfo
- 8:16: Wait, it doesn't begin. There's a 45 minute pre-party. The actual contest starts at 9pm. Oh no, this might have thrown off my popcorn intake for the evening. This is what happens when you do half-assed research. Back at 9pm guys.
- 8:52: Wow, I also just learned that the pre-party was on the Reeperbahn, here in Hamburg today. Again, the perils of half-assed research. In my defense, the weather has been soul-crushingly bad today and I don't think anything could get me out there.
- 8:56: I just realized my German has gotten so good, that I understand and can translate songs in German, back into English. That's a big step for me. I barely understand songs in English.
- 9:00: Eurovision begins! (take II). By the way, this is the 59th Eurovision and Abba won this way back in the day.
- 9:07: They're introducing all the performers. A few of my hopefuls go pretty early: Ukraine 1st, Romania performs 6th, the hotties from Poland 9th, Conchita Wurst (Austria) 11th
- 9:13: Ukraine is starting off. The announcers pretend like nothing strange is going on there. Tonight is about fun. And, the Ukranian performer has a dude running in a large hamster wheel behind her. The hamster wheel was used in the Semis too. Amazing.
- 9:19: Belarus is 2nd, doing a song called "Cheesecake" and trust me, that is all you need to know.
-9:21: Azerbaijan is 3rd. Which I like, because their capital is Baku (pronounced Bah- Koo). It's just fun to say. Another country I have a soft spot for.
- 9:24: Heads up for those interested in the ladies. I think you want to find a woman from Ukraine or Azerbaijan. They were quite easy on the eyes.
-9:25: Iceland is 4th, doing a song called "No Prejudice" (nice message) and they look like they're wearing the Voltron colors: #datedreference
They're kinda corny, but Iceland is a country of 320,000 people. This must be the best they can do.
-9:30: Fun fact about Iceland. The country is so small and blood lines so close, they have an "Incest Prevention App", to make sure you don't have sex with close relatives. Not joking, click the link.
-9:31: Norway is 5th and he sucks and looks very Norwegian.
-9:33: Romania is 6th!! My sleeper pick (song is called "Miracle") and I love them for their 360 degree piano (see yesterday's post) It would really be a sleeper win. They are 66-1 odds to win. Yes, you can bet on Eurovision.
-9:37: Armenia is 7th, odds are 8-1 for them to win. I don't know how that happened. The performer's name is "Aram MP3." (again not joking)
- 9:40: Montenegro is 8th and if you saw yesterday's post, you know he's singing in Montenegrin. I'm gonna take a 4 minute nap. Brb.
-9:44: Now I feel bad about my Montenegro hate, the singer seemed like he was nice.
-9:45: Now for Poland's (9th) overt sexuality in a blatant attempt to get the "horny teen" vote.
- 9:49: Greece is 10th. Here is another country I want to win for geopolitical reasons. They have an Op-Art meets Boy Band meets Hip-Hop meets "My Big Fat Greek Wedding" meets Cirque Du Soleil thing going on. By the way, those aren't negatives.
- 9:53: Here comes Austria and drag queen "Conchita Wurst" at number 11, another favorite of mine. Her song is actually good. I'm putting aside my vegan views and cheering for someone named "sausage."
- 9:55: Conchita Wurst must have had beard transplant surgery. It's just too perfect. Beard transplants are also a real thing, click the link.
-9:57: Germany is 12th. They are 150-1 to win. They're not that bad, but it's a weak year for the Fatherland. They had a winner in 2010. They'll live.
- 9:58: 12 songs in and I'm still hanging in there, if you're wondering. No sign at all of a popcorn coma.
-10:02: They just showed "Glam Dracula" in a flashback from last year. Of course, he was from Romania. I'm ashamed I forgot that. Have a look, if you want to be creeped out. And, if you laughed about my Dracula phobia yesterday, I accept your apologies.
- 10:04: Sweden is 13th. They are the favorite at 5/2. I have no idea how. I feel like there's some sort of a Scandinavian bias going on here.
- 10:08: France is 14th. They will be joining Montenegro in saying "Fuck you! We're singing in our own language."
- 10:09: A friend of mine texted me asking how the contest is going, so now I'm live blogging and live texting Eurovision. #multitasking
- 10:14: Russia is 15th. In the time it took to finish the song, I think Russia annexed another piece of Ukraine.
- 10:15: Countries you want a wife from: Ukraine, Russia, Poland, Azerbaijan, and Romania, if you're in a jam.
- 10:17: Number 16 is Italy. I have no real thoughts about the song. I'll use the song to take a 4 minute break...Oh wait, Italy join France and Montenegro in saying "Fuck you" to the world, she's singing in Italian.
- 10:20: Slovenia is 17th. The woman is playing a flute, stopping to sing in Slovenian, and then switching to English. #WinningTheNight
- 10:23: Slovenia is 200-1 odds to win. The world obviously does not appreciate a bilingual (at least), accomplished flutist.
- 10:25: Finland is 18th. General, random song. It's strange, it just looks like they have one person too many on stage.
- 10:28: Spain is 19th and they are on my shit list, since they have both Champions League Finalists this year. Yeah I know it's not connected. But, Eurovision is about, in part, mindless nationalism. So, that's my excuse.
- 10:31: We had quite a few ballads tonight, Spain included. But, if you're not rocking a perfect beard with your gown, I'm just not feeling it anymore. Conchita changed me forever.
- 10:32: Switzerland is 20th. I think I'm gonna make it to end of this thing. Switzerland is another act, where it looks like one extra person is on stage. Meh. Switzerland was 80-1 odds, that seems right.
- 10:37: Hungary is 21st. Singer was born in America, his song has a message against child abuse, and his dad played with Lou Reed! 15-1 odds on Hungary. #SleeperPick
-10:40: Malta is 22nd. I had a lot of anger towards Malta yesterday. But, they kinda sound like a fake-me-out "Mumford And Sons." Check it out:
- 10:42: They're a lot of small countries in Europe. I wonder if others have "Incest Apps" like Iceland. I mean Malta has 450,000 people. San Marino: 31,000 people.
- 10:44: Denmark is 23rd and seems to have just one dude too many on stage. They seem to fuck up their boy bands in Europe. They can't seem to count correctly. It must be the Metric System.
- 10:50: Netherlands is 24th. I'm getting punchy. Blah, blah, blah, political joke, blah, blah, blah, marijuana joke...Thank god, there are only 2 more after this.
- 10:52: San Marino is 25th. I'm adding them to my list of countries that should have an "Incest App" The list is as follows: Iceland, Malta, Isle of Man, Jersey, and Andorra. Random song by the way. Another ballad, another gown, another woman without a beard. Zzzzz...
- 10:57: The UK can't win this. This woman sounds nothing like: Amy Winehouse, Joss Stone, Paloma Faith, Birdy, Florence and The Machine, Adele, Duffy, Kate Nash, or Estelle. #MissedOpportunity
- 10:59: Way back when, in my "Amorphous Thoughts" blog days, I wrote a post comparing Amy Winehouse and singers of her ilk/sound, to Michael Keaton in "Multiplicity." Check it out, if you missed it.
- 11:00: Songs are finally over...Back when the winner is announced!
- 11:15: You're not missing much, if you're not watching and only reading this blog. They're doing bullshit to kill time (a bunch of weird songs) while they count votes and I'm still eating popcorn. Not much is happening anywhere. Back soon.
- 11:44: Now, we are to the part where each country announces their results. The presenter invariably will make a grammar error in English and speak for just a little too long.
- 11:46: There's also a satellite delay, that usually makes things a little awkward.
- 11:55: The Malta vote notifier is also easy on the eyes. You might want to add Malta to your list of "Places To Marry Someone From."
- 11:57: I also love saying "Malta." It sounds like a drink you'd get in a Spanish bodega.
- 11:59: Add Armenia to the "Places To Marry Someone From" list as well.
- 12:01 (05/11): I'm a running diary bawse. This just crossed into Day 2!
-12:17: For the record, every country has reported their vote totals in English with the exception of France. France continues to throw middle fingers up to the world.
-12:18: And, things are looking really good for Conchita to win.. 5 countries to still report and she's up 18 points. I'm not shaving for the next 7 days, if she wins.
- 12:23: Conchita is announced the winner!! Here's her song again:
- 12:28: Signing off. I hope you guys liked the diary. I'm growing my beard in honor of Conchita. It will look nowhere near as good. Tschuess. Au revoir. Tot ziens. Szia. Ciao. Adeus. Ok, that's enough goodbyes and enough languages. Later!
- 12:34: Just overheard in a Vienna bar, "She was cute, but she didn't have a beard."
- I give up whittling down the list any further, it's too hard. I am okay if Iceland wins (they jailed their bankers after the economic crisis, and forgave the debt of regular people), Greece, Ireland, or Italy win (fucked during the Euro crisis), Austria (drag queen with a better beard than I can grow (see left, below)), Romania (circular piano, and musical Prozac-type song), Latvia (for kitsch), Poland (overt, borderline desperate display of sexuality), France (because a part of me appreciates their xenophobia) and Hungary (no real reason to hate them).
- Germany and Netherlands I say goodbye to you as well. Germany is one of the strongest economic countries (probably the strongest) in the EU. And, you can smoke marijuana legally in Amsterdam. You both are countries that have shit way too good. Germany also had a Eurovision winner back in 2010. (Lena Meyer Landrut) Yes, I pay way too much attention to this contest. 23 down, 8 to go.
- I have to drop all other countries (excluding Latvia) that end in "ia." I'm not sure exactly where you guys are on a map, so you must be jettisoned. So, I say goodbye to: Armenia, Estonia, Albania, Lithuania, Macedonia, and Slovenia. 21 down, 10 to go.
- Latvia is now on par with Austria (drag queen singer), Poland (overt sexuality) and Romania (circular piano) due to their epic levels of un-ironic campiness. Take 3 minutes of your life and listen to "Cake To Bake", the Latvia entry for 2014.
- Poland is now neck and neck with Conchita Wurst (Austria) for my rooting interest tomorrow. I find their blatant use of sexuality, kinda enduring. So, I've narrowed this down to countries Germany really fucked up in World War II.
- Minor correction. The song from the French representative will also not be sung in English. I told you this preview was "half-assed."
- Ms. Conchita Wurst now has a battle for my affection. The folks from Romania have a song that could be classified as "musical Prozac" and one of the singers play a circular piano. It will be hard to chop from the 2nd half. Check out the piano though.
- Yesterday's post was a microcosm of how the Eurovision contest grabs me each year. I simply wondered aloud, who I didn't want to vote for and it turned into a post where I eliminate 15 of the nations.
- Malta, you're out for the same reason as San Marino. You're a little less ridiculous with a population of 450,000, but c'mon, you still make places like Rhode Island seem big. 15 down, 16 to go.
- I'm having trouble eliminating others, so we'll take a music break. Here's the winner of the 2012 contest Loreen, with her winning song "Euphoria." It's "musical Prozac" to me. I'm at Lady Gaga levels of happiness when I hear this song.
- Ok, San Marino, you have to go because you are a country of 31,000 people. That's barely the populaiton a small city, that's ridiculous and you shouldn't be here wasting everyone's time. Can't you guys just vote to become part of Russia or something? 14 down, 17 to go.
- United Kingdom has to go, because I don't want to see David Cameron (Prime Minister of England) happy for any reason. Here's his hit-list, if you're unfamiliar with how horrible he is. If you can imagine an even more dickish Mitt Romney plus a posh accent, that's David Cameron. In this pic, he was calling for more austerity, literally in front of a gold throne. (not exaggerating, Google the speech deets). England (United Kingdom) CAN NOT win. 13 down, 18 to go.
- Romania is out because it's Dracula's birthplace. As a kid, and still now, it freaks me out to see people bitten on the neck. Look at the photo, it's horrifying. I've always had trouble with Dracula movies. I know Dracula isn't real guys. But, hey, my fears are irrational. 12 down, 19 to go.
- Switzerland is out because their social system rivals that of Scandinavia and they are talking about a basic income for all their citizens of around 2,800 US Dollars/ month. I'm jealous and petty and this is another country where shit is going well enough that they don't need a Eurovision winner. And, they hide all of the world's dodgy money. 11 down, 20 to go. The lovely Ms. Wurst is still in the lead.
- The country of Georgia is out. When I hear Georgia, I think of the American South and there are few things I like less, than the American South. 10 down, 21 to go.
- Israel has to go. 2 reasons: They're not even in fucking Europe and they commit war crimes, basically daily. If America wasn't America, Israel would be America, kinda. It makes sense, if you don't really think about it. 9 down, 22 to go.
- Montenegro has to go as well. I'm all for expanding my horizons, but I draw the line at Montenegrin music. 8 down, 23 more to go.
- Ok, so 31 nations are performing. I've eliminated 7 (Russia, Spain, Portugal, all of Scandinavia (see below)) so far. 46 hours till the show begins, I can do this.
- I can't cheer for any of the Scandinavian nations, so out goes: Finland, Norway, Denmark, Sweden. You guys already have a great social welfare system, you don't need a Eurovision contest winner too.And, Denmark won last year anyway.
- But, as a vegan, can I really cheer for someone who goes by the last name "Wurst"? And, this is why it's hard to be a liberal. #EndlessGuilt
- As a bonus, she wears a full beard and a long gown to most of her performances.
- As always, I suggest Americans watch the Eurovision contest. It's a great way to learn about countries we aren't bombing. #rimshot
- And, proving that it's great to be from an English-speaking country, all but one of the songs will be sung in English on Saturday. The singer from Montenegro will be singing in Montenegrin. He is begging to not win the contest.
- I just learned that Eurovision votes coming out of the Crimean region of Ukraine, will count as Ukranian votes. And see, this is how Eurovision gets me every year. #GeopoliticalFun
- Ok, I'm gonna work this out before Saturday. Nations I can't cheer for: Portugal and Spain (soccer reasons), Russia (Crimea reasons)
- This is, in a nutshell, why the Eurovision contest always pulls me in. I just lost 30 minutes simply figuring out reasons to not cheer for nations hit by a financial crisis.
- And, the Champions League Final is being held in Lisbon. To hell with you twice, Portugal.
- Wait, and one of the Europa League Finalists are from Portugal...so to hell with Portugal too.
- Now that I think about it, we have an all-Madrid Champions League Final...so, to hell with Spain.
- It will start innocent enough. I'll start watching it ironically. Probably post some snarky tweets to Twitter. And, then, before I know it, 4 hours will fly by because I've been cheering on all the nations done in by the Euro crisis (namely the "PIIGS": Portugal, Ireland, Italy, Greece, Spain). Yeah, I connect everything to politics.
- I just found out that the Eurovision contest is on this Saturday. There is 150% chance that I will waste 4 hours of my life watching it.
- Sometimes I post controversial stuff on Facebook, just to confirm who my asshole "friends" are. If you see anything regarding the minimum wage, reproductive rights for women, making fun of religion, rights for sex workers, and the like, I'm probably baiting you, to see your level asshole-ness.
- Somehow I did not notice this in past contracts I signed in Germany. (I was told the clause is common) But, Germany says "Nein" to Scientology in the strongest of ways with its "L. Ron Hubbard" clause.
For my curious atheist friends, no other nonsense religions were mentioned.
- I've realized how tactical I've become when looking at dating sites/ profiles. I gravitate towards those with birthdays that are a long ways away. #protip
- Cool quote, from the great George Bernard Shaw:
"Love consists in overestimating the difference between one woman and another."
- My second date with a 23 year old woman went pretty well. Doing the rough math, I'm about a 1/3 of the way to pulling off a "Donald Sterling" (minus the racist stuff, of course)
- I disagree with President Obama on many things. I'm to the left of him, politically. But, I must say, he is the funniest President we've had. Hands down. Check it out, if you missed it:
- Gift from a friend, who visited London, got me a pair of socks with the London Underground map on them. Needless to say, I called them "Tube Socks." You guys will laugh later.
- I jokingly mentioned Miley Cyrus and only one of us had her on their Spotify account. It was me.
- I'm officially "Social Chameleon, Level 9000". I'm well-rounded enough to get through a 5 hour date with a 23 year old.
- Given 99.9% of the time nothing will happen, but you don't know that during the "clean-up." :)
- Random fun thing about being single again....Freshening up the apartment, just a bit, "in case she comes by later." There's a wonderful hopefulness in it. It's like the night has limitless potential.
- I barely dated 23 year olds, when I was 23 myself. I can't explain what's going on.
- A big night tonight. I'm going to the "Spring Ball", at a posh hotel and my date is 23 years old (14 years younger than me). Currently, my youngest friend is 26 years old and she has no idea what a 23 year old does these days.
- Back for the first time in a few days, it's not that I haven't had any thoughts, just have been a bit busy.
- It's one of life dreams, to simply break Google with one of my phrases, book singularity is the closest I've come.
- If you're wondering, no "book singularity" is not online in the context I just used. I finally invented a phrase!!
- Even though I'm in one and have been in another, every time I see an interracial couple I think, "Look, there's an interracial couple." Something is obviously wrong with me.
- Friend: "I'm reading two books at this time. And in one, it referenced the other book I'm reading."
- Me: "Oh my God. You've achieved book singularity!"
- My countdown for Prince William to get some sort of hair replacement treatment continues. Someone with all the resources of the British empire should not be walking around looking like this.
- Random awesomeness. I watched "Queen Heaven" at the Hamburg Planetarium today. Worth checking out for any "Queen" fan. And, as a bonus, somehow I didn't fall asleep. Take that narcolepsy!
- I just found a Spotify classical playlist called, "If It Ain't Baroque....". That made me smile. #NerdHumor
- Sometimes you need humor to illustrate how stupid some people's beliefs are.
- Happy Zombie Jesus Day!! In honor of it, here's a cool video "The Passion Of Zombie Jesus". Atheists (and some doubting Christians) will enjoy it.
-"You'll laugh, but I'm already considering age, projected income, thoughts on children, distance from parents, etc. It will be a weighted average." #JamesQuotesJames #TextingEdition
- Random time I've been happy about being separated: walking around the supermarket today, seeing all the couples and knowing they were likely on the way to some (likely) boring, awkward dinner (s).
- "I think I've crossed a threshold where my work life is less stressful than my social life." #JamesQuotesJames #TextingEdition
- Wherever you fall on the Atheist-Agnostic-Religious scale, I think you have to admit that this is creepy as fuck.
- I like how they've turned Joe Morton (Papa Pope) into Keyser Soze. #ScandalThoughts
- Ok, I wrote my Maya Pope thought, in real-time, before they caught her. I'm not perfect. #ScandalThoughts
- The NSA can find all of us, except for Maya Pope. #ScandalThoughts
- "Scandal" is at "House Of Cards" levels of treachery.
- Exhibit # 3,458 that Hollywood is out of ideas. A sequel, that no one has been waiting for, is on it's way to theaters. Mrs. Doubtfire is coming back!
- I'm feeling particularly froggy today. I feel like watching stupid religious story videos in German. I would like to know the bullshit in two languages.
- 4 day weekend here in Germany. All. Laziness. Everything.
- Apparently, you can't be considered an "Outdoorsman" in Germany, until you cut your nose. That seems unfair.
- I just noticed how formulaic my German outdoor magazine is. Each cover has a good-looking white guy, with a beard, and a cut on his nose.(enlarge the pic, I'm right about this one)
- "I have a midday date Friday with the doctor-to-be... and then what if I date an air traffic controller or something. I have to cover odd hours" :)
#JamesQuotesJames #TextingEdition
- "You're in the minority, if you come home, your guy is in a white button-down shirt, sleeves perfectly rolled up, drinking red wine, listening to jazz, as he prepares dinner." #JamesQuotesJames
- "You should get a vasectomy on the sneak." #JamesQuotesJames
- "I'm at the point where I'm afraid of people's doppelgangers" #JamesQuotesJames
- "A 10 year age difference is the most you'll see in America, unless their is a lot of money involved."
#JamesQuotesJames
- "I completely believe in "compartmentalized friendships." #JamesQuotesJames #TextingEdition
- I did have the thought that "Game Of Thrones" can't be as good as people are saying. I heard so many good things, my expectations are so high, that I'm certain the show will disappoint me. So, thanks for that, world.
- It's been a long 5 days....I was somewhere every night from Wednesday to Sunday night and I might be out of thoughts.
- The other is "Gentleman Caller" (as a euphemism for "booty call"), comes from a Tennessee Williams's play, "The Glass Menagerie." So, get on that people, go use them and let's class up our English!
ex.) "She had a "Gentleman Caller" last night."
- It's become one of my goals to bring back early 1900's terms to
describe random things from today. I have two so far: "Ladies Of
The Night" (describing sex workers), comes from a 1925 silent film of
the same name.
- "We've gotten to a place where we objectify each other and neither feels bad about it." #JamesQuotesJames
- Neil DeGrasse Tyson, if his Astrophysicist game falls through, could read bedtime stories. #DulcetTones
- I may be too tired to have thoughts today. Even my inner monologue is a bit hungover.
- "Did you pull off your Polish move?" #JamesQuotesJames
- We have also decided that we are ok with being "wifed up", by a lady with a lot more money than us. But, since we have some morals/scruples, we don't want to stop working completely or need EVERYTHING from the wife. We decided to call this a "Splenda Mama." (instead of Sugar Mama). Again, we are open to other names, but please stay in the "Sugar substitute" world.
- The guys have also decided to re-brand the "Divorce Party" for men. And our name for this will be either a "Re-entry Party" or "Re-bachelorization Party." We're open to your feedback. But, we think we can't lose with either name.
- "I growl and I squint, and I get all creepy." #JamesQuotesJames
- "I mean look at some of these people, I wouldn't wear those clothes to go food shopping." #JamesQuotesJames
- "Are you really going H.A.M. on the Pythagorean Theorum?" #JamesQuotesJames
- "I'm at the point in my life where I go to hotel bars, lounges, and places with nice sconces." #JamesQuotesJames
-"Our stripper is either really tanned or just performed in blackface. Either way I'm uncomfortable." #JamesQuotesJames
We've decided to re-brand the bachelor party as a guy party and do it quarterly.
-"I thought they would be dancing with coin purses on. Either that or fanny packs." #JamesQuotesJames
- Using "blazer" as a verb is officially normal for me. Ex: -"You're blazering up for the night, right?"
I'm curious to see how European strips clubs work. They have 1 & 2 Euro coins and then a 5€ bill. I'm sure not tipping a fiver and I don't want to throw coins at people.
-" I got my bikini line done too!" #JamesQuotesJames #TextingEdition
- If the waitresses aren't giving me "side-eye", they are at least throwing some shade my way. Either way, it's off-putting.
- She eats her Musli cold...no one's perfect.
- Hamburg is what I call "a small big town". I've already seen people I know, in random places around town. And, someone will likely throw a drink in my face one day. Mark my words!
- Effective uses of space...Toss a mannequin in between the glass of a revolving door. Why? Because, why not?
- I think I need to find a new "first date drink spot." At my current place, I feel like I'm getting side-eye from the waitresses. And, one of the managers spoke to me in English before I said a word to him because, "he remembered me from last time."
- She seems nice, but does she have her Musli hot or cold. #BurningQuestions #InnerMonologue
- I'm a pretty neat guy, far from a hoarder. But, there's a (IMHO) a great distance in "It's OK for me" and "Woman Ready."
- If a guy did that, it would be harassment, right?
- I learned these last few weeks, that if you receive a message from a German woman (on a dating site) and don't write back, they have no problem with writing a follow-up message to passively-aggressively troll you about not writing back. (And, yes that's a pretty sweet run-on sentence)
- "Are you sure you're not just using me for my toothbrushes??" #JamesQuotesJames #TextingEdition
- If you want to see Germany's answer to Zach Galifanakis (pictured in yesterday's post), you can see/ hear him here. Fast forward ahead to the 16 minute mark for his first appearance.
- Random positive about Germany I noticed today. I got caught in the rain, had to throw my hoodie up for the walk home and realized I had no worries about cop harassment or George Zimmerman-esque "Neighborhood Watchmen."
- For the record, IMHO, those of us that can roll our tongues into a "U" are also winners of the #GeneticLottery.
- UPDATE: I only alienated only about 36% of the population. There was a survey to determine the hanging earlobe vs. attached earlobe split. And, about 64% of those surveyed have hanging earlobes. But, those of us with hanging earlobes can still walk around proudly. We're still better than 36% of the population. #GeneticLottery
- You've probably heard of "male privilege" or "white privilege". This might be the first time you heard of "hanging earlobe" privilege. But, that's why you come here, for stuff you might not hear elsewhere.
- Time to share something that will alienate half of the world's population....I can't for the life of me figure out why attached earlobes kinda creep me out. I'm sorry guys...This is my safe space. I don't think I've ever said that to anyone.
- Reminder to self: Research if anyone has connected Robert Pfaller's theory of Interpassivity with Twitter hashtag activism
- "What other classics are they using? Do they still have those compasses, you could kill a horse with?" #JamesQuotesJames
- I even told her how convinced I was, that I'm a sociopath. And that didn't scare her away. I mean, what the hell is wrong this person? :)
- I'm trying this new thing with a woman I'm seeing...complete, unfiltered, and total honesty. I tell her everything I'm thinking. It's as if she reads this blog. And, she actually likes it and finds it refreshing. But, I can't believe I haven't scared her away yet. The whole thing has flipped. I tell her crazy stuff, she digs it, and now I'm weirded out, because she's not weirded out.
- Germany's answer to Zach Galifinakis (spotted on the telly tonight)
- I feel like J-Lo would sue if she knew about this. (spotted at a very random Hamburg club):
- Added bonus about listening to Willie Evans Jr. (See his video for "Nerd English" in yesterday's post) is that he kinda looks like David Ortiz from the Red Sox. #SeparatedAtBirth #EsotericEdition
- If you're in the part of the Venn Diagram where "nerd" and "hip-hop lover" intersect, this is the song for you. "Nerd English" by Willie Evans Jr.. It includes such nerd references as: Soul Caliber, You Can't Do That On Television, Gamer Tags, Comic Books, Boba Fett, Quantum Physics, and many more
- "Yup, I've fallen asleep driving. But, I was in a traffic jam, so it was a low-speed accident. When, I hit the car in front of me, I was only going about 2 miles per hour." #JamesQuotesJames #NarcolepsyFollowUps
- "No, it doesn't matter if I'm tired or not." #NarcolepsyFollowUps
- "Most movies are pretty formulaic, so I can figure out what I missed after I wake up. It's not as bad as it sounds." #JamesQuotesJames #NarcolepsyFollowUps
- "I only ask that if I'm not snoring, just let me sleep. It's really ok." #JamesQuotesJames #NarcolepsyFollowUps
- "What else is wrong with me? Umm, I'm pretty sure I have a low-grade narcolepsy. So whenever I go to the movies, I'm good for at least a 15 minute nap." #JamesQuotesJames
I just realized that seeing giraffes fight might not be an everyday thing. You're welcome guys:
- "Have you ever watched 2 giraffes fight? Don't do it! It's incredibly off-putting."
- "Thanks to my taxi app, my bike share app, and my extra phone battery, I'm like an urban Boy Scout right now."
- "I'm now 93% sure that I'm a sociopath and I'm hiding it well."
- "I'm like their "gay friend", that just happens to be straight." #JamesQuotesJames
- "Not having a onesie is a glaring hole in my wardrobe. I'll just wear some black, that's slimming at all times of day." #JamesQuotesJames
- "What's a good "day-to-night" outfit when you're going from a coffee date straight to a Ladies Night, where you're the only guy invited?" #JamesQuotesJames
- My life has quickly become the Seinfeld "Even Steven" episode (in case you've forgotten or never seen it):
- Apparently, a couple of sportscasters in New York are upset because Daniel Murphy (of the Mets) is taking 3 days paternity leave, to be with his wife and new baby. Crazy stuff. Yes, a whopping 3 days.
2 things: The Mets suck and it doesn't matter if ANYBODY misses 3 days for them, they will still suck. Secondly, baseball has like 200 games and it doesn't matter if ANYBODY misses 3 games, for any reason.
- I traded in #GalavantingHard with the guys for a Salsa lesson last night. NEVER AGAIN. But, I was introduced to the perils of trying to be a "Renaissance Man." They're always some other shit you could be learning. :)
- Morning all, let's start the day with more "racial insensitivity" (my own term) from the streets of Hamburg:
- Friend: (after a long explanation of a point, in German) "Verstehst du?" (translated: Do you understand?)
- Me: "Yeah, I understood everything. I just like hearing you explain things."
- "It is one my worries, that I will leave it somewhere randomly in town. I picture myself wandering aimlessly around Hamburg, looking at every locked bike, to see if its mine." #JamesQuotesJames
- "Can you remind me to grab my bike when I go? Right now, it's parked at home in my mind and I don't want to forget it." #JamesQuotesJames
- One of my random happy moments in Hamburg, is when I get to take the brand-new, futuristic train (tinted windows, ample leg room, fold-up seats, it's a joy) on the U3 line. But, there seems to be no middle ground on the U3. You either get that one or one that seems to be from the old East Germany. #BipolarTransportation
- " I feel like I can "Vegan-ize" that with Tempeh Bacon and perhaps change my life." #JamesQuotesJames
- I do love the word "galavanting" though. It feels like something the Gatsbys would say. I haven't read the book or watched the movie...Maybe they did say it??
- Came up with a new hashtag, thanks to a friend of mine. Keep an eye out, on Fridays and Saturdays, for #GalavantingHard (Google "galavanting" if you must)
- "She still logs-in to the site frequently, so she's probably "Pokemon-ing" me too, which is totally fine." #JamesQuotesJames #TextingEdition
- I like to think I'll get used to it, but that part of my "Americanism" is holding on tight. #DateConfusion
- Good morning all! Here in Europe, they put the day of the month first and then the month, when a date is displayed anywhere. So, for instance March 5th would look like this: 05.03
So, this is one of the 12 times/ year, I'm not confused by the date (its 04.04)!!
- Advantages of being a well-rounded fella? Making dinner with a new friend of mine, Pachelbel's "Canon In D" comes on the radio, then followed by "Swan Lake" by Tchaikovsky. I name them both by ear and she looked at me like she wanted to propose. #RenaissanceMan
- And, I just realized the 3rd "Duck Dynasty" person from the left (don't know their names), looks like Saul from "Homeland." #SeparatedAtBirth"
- I'm confused am totally feel like I'm "Pokemon-ing."
- Germany...NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
- I wonder where we are in the "post-mass shooting" cycle in America. It's Day 1 after a big shooting. So, it's either, "we're still in shock" or "it's too soon to talk about it."
- I realized I started this account because I'm too lazy to drop my thoughts into 5 different social media platforms.
- More "racial insensitivity" I've seen around Hamburg
- Bible bullshit + CGI x Creative License = An Awesome Summer Flick!
- For the record, I would actually LOVE a Bible story/comic book character mashup.
- Eating cereal out of a mixing bowl, because....adult
Evangelical Christians are upset about the "Noah" movie. How could Hollywood take creative license, with a story where a man puts two of every animal on a boat? Fucking idiots. I don't want to make fun of religious people, but they make it pretty easy.
I just Googled "undislikeable" and of course it's been used. I will never invent anything. I will cancel my trademark application.
I thought today, what would I do if I woke up tomorrow without the ability to see. The best I can figure is that I would use my phone navigation to get around. But, who would punch in addresses for me? I could use voice search, but my phone responds to German. So, pronunciation could be a problem. Let's just hope I don't wake up blind tomorrow.
I wonder if "undislikeable" is the first double-negative word ever made up.
"Since my separation, I have been at "apex charm" (trademark pending) on these dates. I am absolutely undislikeable" (trademark also pending). #JamesQuotesJames
Another example (Exhibit B) of some German insensitivity (or maybe ignorance) around race. A woman I dated for a while owned this. It looked like an old mammy/ Aunt Jemima- type thing. And, no, I didn't have "the talk" with her about it.
Taken Friday night...The view from "Clouds" bar (highest bar in town), looking down onto the Hamburger Dom #NichtSchlecht
"I have hit the zenith for a "non-threatening straight guy." I got my invite to a "Ladies Night + James" get together!"
"I'm nearly certain Germany is either "racially insensitive" (and not to only black people) or just doesn't have a fucking clue.
Exhibit A (and I have a lot more to post): Why do you need a brother with a ridiculous fake 'Fro to sell Scampi Pizza is beyond me. And, what the hell is scampi pizza anyway?:
"Just saw my first coat that had elbow patches. This has gone far enough.
I'm ready to release a line of pajamas with elbow patches."
"Had a German tell me, that I'm not an "American American"...Not sure exactly what it means, but it feels like a compliment."
Here is a preview of the stupid thing I'm doing to myself this year, the Hamburg Urbanathlon. Vid is only 2:30 minutes:
"I know the Finale is near, but I gave up caring about "How He Met Their Mother" in Season 5. #DrinkingHaterade
I really love living here in Hamburg. It is truly a beautiful town. Here is a great time-lapse video of 24 hours here, all of the main sights are featured, check it out: 24 Hours Hamburg
"I'm not an "ageist" but, I feel like I'm a "young" 37 yrs old. So, I'll deal with someone who is an "old" 41, when I'm 50."
"Peppermint tea might be one of the best bargains going.
You get all the benefits of the actual tea and you don't really need
breath mints, if you drink it enough." #APennySaved
"Sitting down to pee gets a bad rap. You can text, tweet, and
you don't have to clean up after yourselves afterwards. Guys, open your
minds, it's not so bad."
"I
have a busy Saturday. A 2pm "first-date", a 5pm "break-up date", and a
9pm "night date." All this and the clocks change tonight. Tomorrow will
suck. What are you doing?" #textingedition
"I'm definitely turning into a "sapiosexual." (look it up guys, I can't do everything for you)
"Things
are actually going pretty great...I love it here, met some really great
people...the city is just beautiful, I live close to everything...I
don't have to drive. Even the insects are top-notch."
"You're
lucky, you have a beautiful view of the Elbe River. When I look out of
my window, if I really stretch my neck, I see a yeast factory."
"I'm experiencing epic levels of
"Nice Day Guilt." (trademark pending) It's the guilt you feel on a
really nice day, where you just don't happen to want to go outside.
"I
won the biggest lighter I've ever seen at the Hamburger Dom last night.
I think I have to move to a bigger apartment, to make space for it."
"Sunday nights are when things kick-off on German dating sites"
"Part of my job is teaching German people how to be normal."
"I'm liberal and am for equal rights. I would defend your right to be hit by a bike."
"I'm 90% sure I'm a sociopath and I'm just hiding it well at this point."
"I don't think I'm going through a mid-life crisis. I like to call it a "late, early life crisis." #semantics
"Not having patches on your elbows is the new having patches on your elbows."
"It took me years of being sarcastic dickhead, to talk like this."
"Sir, you're wearing a bow tie, you shouldn't be co-signing such humor."
"I'm such a caveman...here I am pawing everyone's nuts."
"At the very least, she has a very big inheritance coming to her."
"I wouldn't mind getting wifed-up by a doctor-to-be."
"As long as she doesn't have scoliosis or hot flashes, I'm pretty good." (this is the "old" 41 year old referenced above)
These big headphones are out of hand. We have gone from "Beats By Dre" to "I Work On An Airport Runway."
"No sir. I trademarked "The Blazer™", so now we are separate entities."
"The Blazer™ (I filed the legal paperwork) is also looking forward to the night."
"Frank Underwood is the Walter White of politics."
- courtesy of Melanie Steel
"You don't have to be angry to speak German, but it does help."
- courtesy of @ShitGermansSay (on Twitter)
"You can always count on Americans to do the right thing - after they've tried everything else."
- Winston Churchill
#coolquote
"I'm gonna rehydrate myself with beer after Bikram. It's going to be great."
"Your "I'm smart" glasses and hoodie, made me think you knew what you were talking about."
I also learned from you, that I want all my baked goods "stuffed with resentment."
- "stuffed with resentment", courtesy of Sarah Dee
"He looks like a burn victim, who had a lot of hair gel lying around."
"Not having a beard, is the new having a beard."
I ate insects for the first time tonight. From left to right:
Mealworm in Dough, Buffalo Worms, Locusts, BBQ Sauce
Ok, I'm about to try and watch "Blackfish." I'm prepared to be emotionally destroyed and putting my over/under for tears at 500.
This is the most bling-ed out German you've ever seen. "Mr. T" of Western Europe
Soccer/Politics/movies meet:
Here is Rene Meulensteen (right) former asst @ Manchester United looks like the offspring of Tom Hanks and Speaker Of The House (Republican) John Boehner "
And, I don't really have pearls to clutch when I'm shocked...it was figurative."
"Off to an All-You-Can-Eat Vegan breakfast, where I will attempt to eat my body weight in vegan food."
"Arguing about politics is like giving me a Red Bull. It always wakes me up."
"The word "schön" (describing the weather), will be uttered approximately Eleventy billion times today in Germany."
"I don't know "people", but I'm sure I know "people", who know "people".
"I'm delicate. Sometimes the week beats the shit out of me and I need to get away from it all."
"I'm in that unfortunate moment with my gray hairs in my beard. I have too many to pluck and too few to color."
"I don't know what I meant, but I know what I didn't mean."
"The perfect car for those who think a Smart car is a bit too roomy."
"I forget details of my own life."
"Sometimes the jokes are just for me."
"I'm in such a good mood, I'm quoting goofy stuff I've said tonight, out of context, via Facebook."
"You can't masturbate during the Olympics. It's the purity of sport!"
"My body is shaking its internal fist at me."
"I'll allow you to piggy-back my male privilege."
All the guerrilla marketing of #Anchorman2, only serves to make me want to see it less.
"I'd also accept being snatched out of there with a plane/ grappling hook combo, like in "The Dark Knight Rises."" (2:50 mark, if you forgot the scene)
"I would go to your wedding (in Texas), if I could just smoke-pellet out of there after it was over."
"I don't care how many of you guys post it. I'm not doing my Facebook movie.
I'm considering it the new "Candy Crush."
"My Super Bowl MVP: Global Warming. The high was 56 degrees (13 Celsius) today in E. Rutherford."
"This
game is pretty horrible, but look at the bright side: I bet none of you
had seen these aluminum foil colored, futuristic bubble gooses before
tonight?
See, you probably feel better right now.
"Random
thing that costs more in Germany...my dental floss.It costs 5 Euros
($6.75) for the only dental floss I can use.
"Oral B Pro Expert Premium" should market themselves as "The Dental Floss Of The 1%"
I just noticed Victoria Nuland (State Dept Assistant Secretary) always has a Rock-like "People's Eyebrow" going in every pic I see. #EsotericReferences
"2014 is the year I finally decide who I love more: "One Direction" or "One Republic" My waffling has gone on long enough."
Hey everyone...I hear it's pretty cold in the US today...can you just like this post, if you haven't frozen to death. Thanks!
I'm back in America now, so my chances of being shot randomly are 10,000% higher
I'm
in that stretch of time before vacation, when you're cleaning things you
wouldn't be cleaning, if you were just staying home.
Crazy Germany is having their Election Day on a Sunday. It's almost like they want their citizens to vote.
"Spent all my Euros on tuxes and weird clothes...I party with weirdoes.."
(that line is stuck in my head)
#tomford#holygrail
Cats are fucking diabolical:
I'm addicted to"Arrow."
It's Batman meets Robin Hood meets Green Lantern meets Cast Away. Then
add a dollop of Revenge & a pinch of Dexter and you've got a show. I
just need to put things in a way I can understand.
I
must be getting old. I saw a lesbian couple kissing on the street
yesterday. And, my first thought was not, "Whoa, that's pretty hot!"
"It was, "why are they kissing while standing in the bike lane?" Which.
They. Were. Respect bike lanes people."
Another sign that I'm getting old, when I listen 2 rap, I punch
unfamiliar references into Urban Dictionary. My latest was "pop a
Molly."
#coolquote
"Religion was invented when the first con man met the first fool."
- Mark Twain
Just found a podcast called, "School of Podcasting, Learn How To Podcast." The word "podcast" has lost all meaning.
#meta#rabbithole
"Have you gone to the movies, and thought, "I also want to pick up some
cigarettes while I'm here." Well, my local theatre has you covered.
#Hamburg
Finally getting around to finishing "No Logo" by Naomi Klein and now I'm pissed off about shit that happened 15-20 yrs ago.
"K.
Kardashian & Kanye West are naming their baby North. It's full name
will literally be "North West", in case you forgot why you hate
humanity."
The "German efficiency" stereotype does
fall down a bit. I've been at the dentist for 30 min & still
waiting. Lesson is: dentists suck wherever you are in the world.
Homeland thoughts:
- For what's its worth, I would recommend #Homeland to anyone. You just have to watch it like it's a comedy.
- I can't figure out what my favorite part of #Homeland (S3) is. The overt racism? Or pretending like the #CIA may be shut down? It might be a tie
- Re: CIA
"We don't assassinate people."
Ridiculous lines from #homeland (S3 ep1)
- No one saw 9/11 coming!"
Ridiculous lines from #homeland (S3 ep1)
- Re: a #CIA shutdown
"This might be the last order we give."
Ridiculous lines from #homeland
- I think my favorite part was the palpable fear, around wondering whether the #CIA would get shutdown or not. C'mon.
#Homeland
#BreakingBadFinale: Walt poisons EVERYONE w/ the ricin, except Walt Jr. They walk off together, Jr. schucks the crutches Keyser Soze-style.
Anyway to dope in Formula 1 racing? During my time here in Germany, I noticed
Sebastian Vettel wins everything. My Lance Armstrong senses are going
off.
Bruno Mars is on German TV tonight, looking very Lenny Kravitz-ish.
Mos Def Feat. Black Thought & Eminem - AnAbsolutely Epic Freestyle (The Cypher):
I
think I'm getting spoiled by efficient public transportation. I just
missed my train yesterday and was SUPER pissed I had to wait a whole 4
minutes for the next one.
German
is a tough language, but occasionally you get a freebie. Just learned
the German word for birth control pill is "Antibabypille". I can't
forget that, if I tried.
The web is at a "Rule 34" level. If you can dream it up, there's a site for it. Here are "Selfies At Funerals"
http://selfiesatfunerals.tumblr.com
This
week is confusing Monday felt like Friday, Wednesday feels like Monday,
Thursday will feel kinda like a Wednesday, & Friday will be Friday
again. #HolidayWeek
All that money spent on Destiny USA & they couldn't even spring for a spell check at Cantina Laredo. #NotHookedOnPhonics
Packed away my blazers for the move today. Goodbye old friends, I'll see you on the other side. #underdressed
Watching infomercials in German is really helping me up my "ability to bullshit people." in a second language.
Recommended!
#learnGerman
X-mas shopping for my nieces & nephews done in 8 minutes! Join #Teamgiftcard
Big
night tomorrow, AXA's Holiday Party . Because of the importance of the
night, The Blazer™ is being given the night off and it's being replaced
by the Über-Blazer™.
Ok,
so Craigslist is way more effective than I thought, people are on their
way to check out the couch. If they buy it, I don't know what I'm gonna
sit on. Ugh, I didn't really think this through.
I just realized I like two songs involving Carly Rae Jepsen...I was fine with one..but...two??
#newlow
Fun Fact:
Die Buchstaben in "Bundeskanzlerin" neu anordnen zu "Bankzinsenluden." (Bank interest bitch)
If you've ever gone to black churches, you will appreciate this: "10 Types of Black Preachers"
Just home after like 9 hours hanging out, at this rate, my "Tour of Syracuse" will kill me before Christmas.
Off
to Destiny USA, for a private restaurant opening (oooh, fancy)..If
you're at the mall, keep an eye out for me, I'll be the overdressed
fella in the blazer.
It's finally official, moving to Germany in February!
Packing for home and I'm not bringing a blazer. I don't know who I am anymore.
Best NSA/Obama joke:
A
couple of FB "friends" had to be jettisoned tonight and un-friended,
because they're officially too stupid for me to be reading their
thoughts. If you see this message, it wasn't you. Congrats!
Mother
Nature has given me a nice present. It will be in the low 50's when I
head out tonight. Perfect weather to break out The Blazer™.
Ugh, 39 degrees this morning in
Syracuse. I'm calling it, its officially scarf season. Folks, you are
free to accessorize and layer.
" Crystal Palace is my new favorite soccer club. It sounds like a strip club or a sweet Chinese food spot."
- courtesy of Brian Haggenmiller
Got my last training run in tonight, all set for the 1/2 marathon on Saturday!
Next year's goal: the full marathon. I'm coming for you, Kenyan runners. Watch ya' back.
Best OBL joke I've seen so far:
"Osama bin Laden - world hide and go seek champion (2001 - 2011) lost his title today."
I made sure I told the pharmacist the Valtrex was for shingles and NOT genital herpes like the commercials say.
The Victoria's Secret Fashion Show is on, I'm gonna watch for the articles.
YOU MADE IT TO THE END OF THE BEGINNING! Welcome to #JamesQuotesJames!
- It will be a longer post one day, when I really delve into my ideas. But, in short, I think patriotism is born from pride in your home country. And, the list of the horrors the US has wrought on the world (and black people in their own country) is long.
